Sheep and Bear: an unlikely friendship (retold)

Since the premature demise of my old website, this story was lost too, so it’s being retold, possibly in a slightly different version as my memory isn’t what it used to be. Hope you enjoy the remake!

“Great, you got yourself into a real pickle, Sheep. Go on an adventure, that’ll show them how brave you are.” Sheep had managed to tangle himself in a thorny bush on the first day of his so-called adventure into the forest. He had left the herd, who was always picking on him for being a scaredy sheep, just because he had thought a little mouse was a wolf. He had been a wee lamb for Sheep’s sake, how was he supposed to know. The forest was a dangerous place for sheep, tales of wild animals living in the forest were told every night. So he’d gone off into the forest to show he wasn’t a scaredy sheep. And now he was stuck. And the more he tried to pull himself free, the more tangled his fleece became.

Not too far from where Sheep was muttering and wriggling, Bear was strolling around the forest alone. He too had left his friends, who only mocked him for being a weirdo. When he heard the ruckus Sheep was making, he ambled over to the clearing.

Seeing Bear approach, Sheep started to panic. “No, no, no, no, no, this can’t be how my adventure ends, I’m still a young sheep, I have my whole life ahead of me, I can’t get eaten by a bear, that wouldn’t show the herd at all, on the contrary, they’d expect this to happen…. HEEELP, HEEEEEELP!”

“Settle down, dumb sheep,” Bear gruffed, “I just came to see what the noise was all about and besides, I just ate a nice, juicy salmon. You have no idea what kind of a hairball you guys create, so if it’s all the same to you, I’ll stick to eating fish. Now, what’s the problem here?”

Not entirely convinced the bear wasn’t just tricking him into a false sense of safety and eating him anyway as soon as he untangled him, Sheep rambled: “That’s right, and my fleece is really tangly, so you wouldn’t believe what kind of a fleece ball I’d create in your stomach. Better not eat me. But since you ask, that bad-hair-day-everyday woolly mess managed to get caught up in some thorns and the thorns now have started an unhealthy love affair with my fleece and refuse to let it go.”

Bear sat down and thought for a second. “If I help you get untangled, does that mean we’re friends? Because that’s what friends do, right? Help each other out?”

Sheep was so caught off guard by the question, that he forgot to be scared for a second. “Uhm? You what? You want to be friends with a sheep? Is this some kind of new trick?”

“No trick, just a question… Ever since my cousin visited, I’ve become the black sheep of the forest, sorta speak, no offense. I’m just lonely and could really use a friend.”

“Well, even though I’m white, I’m sort of the black sheep of my family too, that’s why I ran away, I mean, went on an adventure. They already think I’m a wimp and if they knew I’d gotten stuck on the first day AND been eaten by a bear, I’d be the laughing stock of the herd, well, even more so than I already am.” Sheep looked at Bear. “Promise you’re not going to eat me? Friends don’t eat friends, right?”

“Right, and I promise. I know all about being the laughing stock. Just because your cousin teaches you some Kung Fu, doesn’t mean you’re weird. It should make you badass!”

“You know Kung Fu? Can you teach me? Everyone at the herd thinks I’m a coward, but if I knew Kung Fu, I could show them!”

“Sure, I could teach you. But first, let me untangle you.”

And so it came to pass. Bear freed Sheep from the bush and taught him everything he knew. Sheep went back to the herd and when he kicked the real wolf’s ass (not the mouse’s, he had learned the difference by now), the herd regarded him as a hero an all the ewes were wooing him. Sheep, who had always had a thing for black sheep, ended up marrying Sheila Black Sheep and they had lovely little lambs. And every Sunday the Sheep family went to visit Uncle Bear, who had found a cute brown bear lady of his own, who was impressed by his Kung Fu skills (well, she thought he looked really cute when he did it, but she let him believe he looked badass), and they too had a few cute little cubs and they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

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