My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier. -Sir Anthony Hopkins
I agree that it makes life a lot easier (and I’m practicing), when I care less about what others think of me and start caring more what I think of me. I think I am a strong, intelligent, caring, funny, creative, adventurous and charming woman and if people disagree, well that’s their business. And I’m practicing to keep believing that, and working on adding “fit, healthy, beautiful and confident” to that list.
While I believe it’s none of my business what others think of me, it’s also none of my business what I think of them. When it comes to judging other people, I’m re-mind-ing myself to mind my own business. While I am a private person and prefer it that people keep their noses out of my business unless I chose to share it with them, I’m less adept at minding my own business when it comes to others, especially when I’m tired.
Of course I’m not talking about when people ask for help, but I’ve been prone to “offer help”, when people don’t ask for it or aren’t ready for it yet, or worse, when I offer it, because I think I can do it better than them. And that’s the “good” kind of meddling with their business. In traffic I really have a low tolerance for others and try to remind myself that I don’t know what might make them drive that way. Maybe they just received bad news, maybe they were in an accident not long ago and are now insecure on the road, maybe they’re just not in a hurry and I shouldn’t make them have to hurry, just because I am, maybe they’re just on my path to teach me patience. It’s not my business why they do things, nor is it my place to judge them. I have my flaws too.
Speaking of flaws, that I’m reluctant to admit I have, the same goes for my perfectionism. While I subject myself to very high standards, it’s not fair of me to expect that others are perfect all the time or do everything the way I do, just because I think my way is better (it just works better for ME) or do things with the same high standards.
What they say about grudges burning the person holding them, not the person they’re held against, goes for expectations and judgments too. My expectations and judgements not only cause me to be in a bad mood, but they also drain my energy, and that’s all my own doing, not theirs. So by allowing myself not to be perfect all the time and getting more sleep, maybe I’ll learn to be more tolerant, mind my own business more and occupy myself less with the life and behaviors of others. Live and let live… Coexist… Feeling and showing respect for each other and all that jazz.
Taking these two things to heart, both the stop caring what others think of me part and the judging others, will free up a lot more energy and space to really mind my own business in the literal sense of the phrase, occupying myself with my own personal growth, learning to adopt a healthier life style, letting go of things that no longer serve me, focusing on the future that I do want and the person that I want to be, the person that is waiting inside to come out. I may not be the center of the universe, but I am the center of my own world, keeping myself centered and balanced is a much worthier cause than to curse others for not being perfect.